This is such a fantastic illustration of the importance of evacuating an abusive marriage. Too often we believe we are responsible for saving the burning building, but there is a point where trying to fight the fire kills us (emotionally, spiritually, or physically).
“The firefighters had 29 minutes to get out of the World Trade Center or die. Inside the north tower, though, almost none of them realized how urgent it had become to leave.” – 9/11 Firefighters Told of Isolation Amid Disaster
I was messaging a friend the other day. Her divorce was final just this year and she is still sorting through the emotions that come over her in waves.
Friend: My heart is broken. I really think it would have been better to just stay married and balance the cycles. I’d have my kids near me and under my influence instead of his family’s. I’d be more of an influence on my abuser than his family. And I’d at least have his up swings and good cycles. I wrecked us all by giving up. Everything is so wrecked.
Me: Cycles like this?
Abuse Cycle
Me: You wrecked nothing. You can’t control…
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Married to Hyde 