My name is Ida Runfar. On my wedding day, if I had known the truth about my husband, I’d have run far…fast.
I gave up my job, my home, my life to join my husband overseas. My child left friends and a familiar world behind. We were committed to a man who was not committed to us.
Worst of all, he began his campaign of abuse from day one of our interactions. It was so insidious, so covert, that I didn’t know I had been manipulated and psychologically abused until he abandoned us in precarious circumstances. When he sent an e-mail notifying me of his intention to divorce I knew something really bad lurked under all the feeble excuses.
Searching for answers, I stumbled upon a forum about Sudden Spouse Abandonment Syndrome where someone asked, “Did you know you were being abused?” The responses floored me. Right before my very eyes I read the story of my marriage in the thread of comments. I wept. How could I–a survivor of rape and assault–have walked right into a marriage made in hell? Everyone, including myself, thought my husband was a perfect guy.
That man I married was an illusion–he was nothing more than a mask worn by Mr. Hyde.
Over the course of several years I was made to feel inferior, burdensome, worthless and in a course of months I was made destitute. What happened to me should never ever ever happen to anyone. No one gets married to be abused.
I am an educated and insightful woman, yet I missed all the red flags. No one around me spotted them either. I had no bruises and my husband never called me names. My prayer for this blog is to educate the public about domestic abuse–it isn’t just about hitting and yelling. Abuse is controlling by power or manipulation.
This blog is an attempt to deconstruct the lies and reveal the truth about being married to Hyde…any of them.