I have found in my life that it is so much more comfortable to tell the truth than to lie to escape blame.
However, telling the truth about someone hurting me has always been difficult. I have been challenged recently to disclose my well-founded worries about someone in church, not for my sake of safety, but for other’s. Sometimes, keeping silent is the same as a lie.
Think about it. Doesn’t it feel equally bad carrying the weight of your own lie as it does to bear the burden of someone else’s lie for them?
Calling evil good. That’s kind of what carrying around some else’s lie is. I know in my abusive marriage, I presented a face of our family being happy and loving when it was cold and hard instead. I told myself lies to make myself believe the lie that things were good. It created cognitive dissonance that is finally resolving now that I am not afraid to tell the truth.
We need to speak the truth in love to ourselves and others. Letting others tell their lies hurts us. It is a brave and honorable thing to bring abuses out into the light.
It is hard to learn how to break the habit of carrying lies (especially if we learned it as a survival mechanism in childhood), but learning to do this is something we can do one step at a time.