Tonight my pastor’s wife shared in a worship service that God wanted her to share a word about mourning; He was tugging on her heart to share it because someone needed to hear it. That someone was me!
She said that we can and should mourn our losses, but after we mourn we must refocus on life.
Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning.
I believe it. God will take the burden of my heavy sorrow and transform it into a heartfelt joy. First, I must do the hard work of mining for the injuries, pain, and anger I have kept at bay in order to survive. There is a lot to uncover/discover because the lies that made me weak started before Hyde took his turn. I really was a spiritual prisoner for many years of my life before I heard the Truth and woke up out of the trancelike state of existence.
It is also a chance for me to belatedly celebrate the marriage I had made, which was robbed from me by our separation from our friend and family causef by our immediate relocation to Europe. There is still beauty in that day because I made a vow to God and stayed faithful to my word and in the breakup, I submitted the marriage to His will. I obeyed Him completely on this issue. When I understood better that I needed to be submitted to God before I submitted my husband, almost immediately God took him away to protect me and my child.
Today I mourn the spiritual scars from the years of believing lies. I also praise God for gifting me with the knowledge and strength that allowed me to finally recognize a great lie and weed it out of my life.