Last night was really difficult. I am so triggered by the divorce paperwork. For this reason, it takes me an insane amount of mental effort to sit and tackle it.
There was a paper I couldn’t find, but I knew I’d had it a few weeks ago. I proceeded to look everywhere I could think of. Then I freaked out. It happens every so often when I have to deal with him and the divorce. This time was scary…I really felt like my mind was coming apart–I felt so confused.
Then as I regained a sense of reality, it dawned on me. Hyde is still gaslighting me. In the divorce papers he is constantly telling half-truths which send me scurrying for solid proof of what I KNOW to be true. He can still get to me.
I CANNOT wait to be divorced…and those are words I thought I would die of shame before I’d utter them. I am so grateful to God for saving me by His Grace. There is no other reason I have beem so fortunate in my misfortune. Praise Him!