Physical Illness and Poisonous Divorce

I am suffering more illness than I have my whole life.  I am diagnosed with arthritis, I keep getting bizarre viral illnesses.  I am so tired.  What is going on?

I know I can’t be the only one who has experienced this.  Help…I need some encouragement.

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6 thoughts on “Physical Illness and Poisonous Divorce

  1. The connection between toxic relationships and physical illness is probably documented someplace. I just want you to know that there is probably an inflammatory reaction associated with emotional stress. If I had the time I would look for some kind of research to back this up. Scientists are just now discovering the connections within the human body. The gut affecting the brain. The heart (emotions) affecting everything. When I read Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s short story, “The Yellow Wallpaper,” in one of my literature classes, the connection between oppression, emotional, mental and physical health were so obvious. This is different than mere female hysteria. This is different than purely psychosomatic illnesses, which men use to tell women their experiences are imaginary. Taking control of one’s life may be the only way we can also repair our health. I just want you to know that you are not alone.

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    • Thank you, Michele. I had a second at lunch to google about a link between stress and arthritis…and there is a link! There is also a link between stress and the onset of Lupus!

      I actually had some other joint and tendon issues during the marriage that Hyde scoffed at. There were moments on vacation where my feet felt like they were on fire to the point where I had tears in my eyes and had to sit down and take off my shoes in public to rub my feet. Oh the agony! It was some of the worst pain I had ever experienced and Hyde acted so annoyed and physically distanced himself from me out of embarrassment.

      Little did I know then that I was being devalued and a few months away from being discarded! My body was so stressed even though I was partially unaware/partially in denial of how poorly I was being treated.

      I am going to read that short story if I can find it online. Thank you for sharing!

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      • You’re welcome. My college literature courses have been a huge part of my healing process. Women writers over the millenia have been recording their struggles with oppression and abuse. What is sad is that it is so common in the 21st century. At least we can speak up and do something about it now.

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  2. Marriedtohyde, I just wanted to check in and say that I am planning to comment more soon. Oh, I could say so much about the effect of poisonous marriage on health. I am exhibit A. I also just wanted to say that “The Yellow Wallpaper” that Michele mentioned is very good to read! I found it just a few months ago and it was like it gave me goosebumps. Do try to find it. I will check in again soon. Hang in there. I’m praying for you tonight 🙂

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    • Thank you Seeing The Light. I am so sorry you are experiencing this phenomenon too. I really started wondering if I had become a hypochondriac, I have been going to the doctor with so many complaints!

      I just finished reading “The Yellow Wallpaper.” Wow. Her husband talked in the same tone as mine! Insults to my personhood wrapped in a guise of caring. Always always pretending to care, but just doing what is best for him! *spits*

      I had two major realizations last night. Concerning Hyde, any voluntary gesture that seems outwardly thoughtful is actually something that benefits himself more than me. When he says, let’s file our taxes together and I will split any refund, it isn’t for my benefit–it is for his alone!

      The second concerns my dad. Growing up I had exactly three times that a friend was allowed over. Three times in 18 years! It dawned on me while watching last night’s Dateline that he didn’t want anyone over because then someone might see the emotional abuse. It sounds obvious, but it was always a mystery to us why he got so angry at the thought of regular visitors. He always blamed it on the state of the house.

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